This page presents a list of the words and phrases that I've coined. Note that, in some cases, the word is an old one and I've coined a new meaning (see, for example, megacity).

lexpionage, adj.

Lexical espionage; the sleuthing of new words and phrases, especially as practiced by The Word Spy.

squirrel gardening, adj.

The accidental "gardening" that occurs when squirrels transfer seeds and bulbs from one one part of a garden to another, or even between gardens.

copyrighteous, adj.

Relating to a feeling of moral superiority based on one's responsible copyright views and actions.

bad tongue day, noun

A day in which a person frequently mispronounces words and stumbles over sentences.

self-coin, verb

To coin an already existing word that you didn't know about.
—self-coinage n.

X2Y, noun

An abbreviation based on a business model that sells "something-to-someone" and derived by changing "to" to "2" and sandwiching it between the initial letters of the "something" (X) and the "someone" (Y). See X2Y

whistle number, noun

A number so impressive that it makes you whistle in response.

awkword, noun

A word that is difficult to pronounce.

jig-sawdust, noun

The sawdust-like bits that fall off jig-saw puzzle pieces.

e-upmanship, noun

The act of showing up another person by claiming to receive more email messages per day than they do.

"When Bitterman complained about receiving 50 emails a day, Codswallop, in a blatant act of e-upmanship, countered that he received at least 100 messages a day."

anecdotage, noun

Anecdotal dotage; that advanced age where all one does is relate stories about "the good old days." This is an example of a self-coined word (see above). The Oxford English Dictionary not only lists this word (and defines it as "garrulous old age"), but it has a citation that dates all the way back to 1835!

generonym, noun

A brand name that has become a generic name for its product category. See genericide.

mental hairball, noun

A word or phrase coughed up at random.

hasbian, noun

A former lesbian who is now in a heterosexual relationship. Also known as a wasbian.

pound-of-cure mode, noun

Troubleshooting a problem that would have been less severe if you had taken steps to prevent it (i.e., if you'd been in ounce-of-prevention mode).

multidude, noun

The collective noun for a group of surfers.

cachet-to-cliche, noun

The process in which a particular word or phrase initially gains wide currency, only to be followed by a vicious backlash. "If I hear the phrase Information Superhighway one more time, I'll eat my modem."

Netois, noun

Net patois. The unique language language and vernacular found on the Internet.

millennial purist, noun

A person who insists that the next millennium begins on January 1, 2001 and, therefore, that the New Year's Eve leading up to January 1, 2000 is meaningless.

Javlovian, adjective

An automatic response that causes marketing types to come up with only cute, coffee-related names for Java-based products (e.g., Cafe, Roaster, Java Beans, Latte, ad nauseum).

SINK SCUM, acronym

Single, Independent, No Kids: the Self-Centered Urban Male. Used to describe the growing number of heterosexual men who have little or no interest in marriage and children.

stuck pig syndrome, noun

The tendency to use the same metaphor inappropriately in other situations. For example, taking the common metaphor "bleeding like a stuck pig" and saying "I'm sweating like a stuck pig" or "That thing is leaking like a stuck pig."

spontaneous program combustion, noun

When an application, which has been running normally for hours and in the absence of any other unusual phenomena, suddenly crashes.

grammer slack, noun

The tolerance exhibited by most Internet users for small spelling and grammar errors (such as spelling "grammar" as "grammer," an all-too frequent gaffe of people who do complain about other people's mistakes).

pro-detail, adjective

Euphemism used to put a more positive spin on those people who would otherwise be described as fastidious and anal.

inloviduals, noun

Lovers who maintain their independence and individuality. The writers Michael Holroyd and Margaret Drabble, who for the first 15 years of their marriage lived in separate houses, provide the archetype.

snooze, noun

A period of time equal to 9 minutes. "I was supposed to get up to walk the dog, but I hunkered down under the covers for a couple of snoozes, instead."

Tickle Me Elmomentum, noun

The inexplicable buzz and "gotta-have-it" mania that descends upon one or two consumer products each Christmas season.

thirty-second surfer, noun

A person who channel surfs during a TV commercial.

corplaining, present participle

Griping, grousing, and otherwise complaining about the corporation you work for.

CAT scanning, present participle

Commercial Avoidance and Termination scanning. Channel surfing during TV commercial breaks.

factitious, adjective

Describing a depiction of an event in which the facts are combined with fictitious elements for comic (or other) effect. I self-coined (see above) this existing word.

slackademic, noun

A perpetual student who prefers the safety and comfort of academic life over the trials and tribulations of the real world.

name rackognition, noun

The process of racking your brain in an attempt to recall the name of a person whose name you used to know but have since forgotten.

agressocracy, noun

A society in which the most aggressive members rise to the top.

encryptlish, noun

Encrypted english. Correspondence from a non-native English speaker that, although well-intentioned, makes creative use of English grammar and spelling.

"I am you thanking for help is give me and hoping happiness is on you now."

shiftless, adjective

1) Describes a person who types entirely in lowercase letters.

2) Describes a piece of writing in which only lowercase letters are used.

"I got yet another shiftless e-mail from Biff. Is he too lazy to reach all the way over to the Shift key or what?"

megacity, noun

"Mega" audacity. The current tendency for marketing types and pundits to attach the prefix "mega" to anything even remotely large.

"With all this talk of 'megavitamins', 'megabucks', and 'mega-meals', it's clear the culture is suffering from a bad case of megacity.

Monday morning idea, noun

A fuzzy, incomplete idea that is clearly the product of a mind not quite yet in synch with the workaday world.

"I think Bill needs to rethink that 'Corporate retreat/triathlon' concept. That must have been a Monday morning idea."

mathism, noun

The disparagement of math in general and of the benefits of math education in particular.

"'What good is math? It's not like I'll ever have to take the derivative of a function during a job interview!' That statements such as this are accepted as true without question indicates a deep level of 'mathism' in our society. Few people understand that the true benefits of a solid mathematical background are the ability to think logically, the ability to approach any type of problem rigorously, and the ability to cast a critical eye on the daily onslaught of statistics and data."

UCEless, adjective

A proposed watchword for the growing anti-spam movement (UCE = unsolicited commercial e-mail; i.e., spam.).

"Recent legislative proposals in the U.S. Congress use different means to achieve the same end: the UCEless inbox."

overworking class, noun

A segment of society in which the chief characteristic is the desire or need to work long hours.

"Before too long, the idea of the 'working class' will vanish and society will split into two camps: the overworking class —people with too much on their plate—and the underworking class—people with not enough to keep them busy."