WORDS ABOUT WORDS
The Germans have an inhuman way of cutting up their verbs. Now a verb has a hard time enough of it in this world when it's all together. It's downright inhuman to split it up. But that's just what those Germans do. They take part of a verb and put it down here, like a stake, and they take the other part of it and put it away over yonder like another stake, and between these two limits they just shovel in German.
Mark Twain, American writer and journalist, Mark Twain's Speeches , 1900
Posted on July 26, 1999 at 9:34 AM
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Function FormatDate(d)
If Month(d) = 1 Then s = "January"
If Month(d) = 2 Then s = "February"
If Month(d) = 3 Then s = "March"
If Month(d) = 4 Then s = "April"
If Month(d) = 5 Then s = "May"
If Month(d) = 6 Then s = "June"
If Month(d) = 7 Then s = "July"
If Month(d) = 8 Then s = "August"
If Month(d) = 9 Then s = "September"
If Month(d) = 10 Then s = "October"
If Month(d) = 11 Then s = "November"
If Month(d) = 12 Then s = "December"
s = s & " " & Day(d) & ", " & Year(d)
FormatDate = s
End Function
Function FormatTime(d)
If Hour(d) = 0 Then
s = "12"
ElseIf Hour(d) > 0 And Hour(d) <= 12 Then
s = Hour(d)
Else
s = Hour(d) - 12
End If
If Minute(d) < 10 Then
s = s & ":0" & Minute(d)
Else
s = s & ":" & Minute(d)
End If
If Hour(d) <=12 Then
s = s & " AM"
Else
s = s & " PM"
End If
FormatTime = s
End Function
Function RemoveSpaces(sOriginalWord)
sWord = sOriginalWord
If Left(sWord, 1) = "-" Then
sWord = Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - 1)
End If
Do While InStr(sWord, " ") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, " ")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(sWord, "/") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, "/")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & "-" & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(sWord, "'") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, "'")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
RemoveSpaces = sWord
End Function
Function ReplaceSingleQuotesWithHTMLCode(sOriginalText)
str = sOriginalText
Do While InStr(str, "'") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, "'")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & "'" & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
ReplaceSingleQuotesWithHTMLCode = str
End Function
Function ReplaceAllQuotesWithHTMLCode(sOriginalText)
str = sOriginalText
Do While InStr(str, "'") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, "'")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & "'" & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(str, """") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, """")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & """ & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
ReplaceAllQuotesWithHTMLCode = str
End Function
Function ReplaceString(strField, strFind, strReplace)
findLocation = InStr(strField, strFind)
Do While findLocation <> 0
If findLocation = 1 Then
leftField = ""
Else
leftField = Left(strField, findLocation - 1)
End If
rightfield = Right(strField, Len(strField) - findLocation - (Len(strFind) - 1))
strField = leftField & strReplace & rightfield
findLocation = InStr(findLocation + Len(strFind) + 3, strField, strFind)
Loop
ReplaceString = strField
End Function