WORDS ABOUT WORDS
The postmodern reply to the modern consists of recognizing that the past, since it cannot really be destroyed, because its destruction leads to silence, must be revisited: but with irony, not innocently. I think of the postmodern attitude as that of a man who loves a very cultivated woman and knows he cannot say to her, "I love you madly," because he knows that she knows (and that she knows that he knows) that these words have already been written by Barbara Cartland. Still, there is a solution. He can say, "As Barbara Cartland would put it, I love you madly."
Umberto Eco, Italian semiotician, essayist, and novelist, Reflections on the Name of the Rose
Posted on May 7, 2001 at 9:52 AM
Comment on this Item:
Function FormatDate(d)
If Month(d) = 1 Then s = "January"
If Month(d) = 2 Then s = "February"
If Month(d) = 3 Then s = "March"
If Month(d) = 4 Then s = "April"
If Month(d) = 5 Then s = "May"
If Month(d) = 6 Then s = "June"
If Month(d) = 7 Then s = "July"
If Month(d) = 8 Then s = "August"
If Month(d) = 9 Then s = "September"
If Month(d) = 10 Then s = "October"
If Month(d) = 11 Then s = "November"
If Month(d) = 12 Then s = "December"
s = s & " " & Day(d) & ", " & Year(d)
FormatDate = s
End Function
Function FormatTime(d)
If Hour(d) = 0 Then
s = "12"
ElseIf Hour(d) > 0 And Hour(d) <= 12 Then
s = Hour(d)
Else
s = Hour(d) - 12
End If
If Minute(d) < 10 Then
s = s & ":0" & Minute(d)
Else
s = s & ":" & Minute(d)
End If
If Hour(d) <=12 Then
s = s & " AM"
Else
s = s & " PM"
End If
FormatTime = s
End Function
Function RemoveSpaces(sOriginalWord)
sWord = sOriginalWord
If Left(sWord, 1) = "-" Then
sWord = Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - 1)
End If
Do While InStr(sWord, " ") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, " ")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(sWord, "/") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, "/")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & "-" & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(sWord, "'") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, "'")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
RemoveSpaces = sWord
End Function
Function ReplaceSingleQuotesWithHTMLCode(sOriginalText)
str = sOriginalText
Do While InStr(str, "'") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, "'")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & "'" & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
ReplaceSingleQuotesWithHTMLCode = str
End Function
Function ReplaceAllQuotesWithHTMLCode(sOriginalText)
str = sOriginalText
Do While InStr(str, "'") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, "'")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & "'" & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(str, """") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, """")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & """ & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
ReplaceAllQuotesWithHTMLCode = str
End Function
Function ReplaceString(strField, strFind, strReplace)
findLocation = InStr(strField, strFind)
Do While findLocation <> 0
If findLocation = 1 Then
leftField = ""
Else
leftField = Left(strField, findLocation - 1)
End If
rightfield = Right(strField, Len(strField) - findLocation - (Len(strFind) - 1))
strField = leftField & strReplace & rightfield
findLocation = InStr(findLocation + Len(strFind) + 3, strField, strFind)
Loop
ReplaceString = strField
End Function