WORDS ABOUT WORDS
Public speaking is done in the public tongue, the national or tribal language; and the language of our tribe is the men's language. Of course women learn it. We're not dumb. If you can tell Margaret Thatcher from Ronald Reagan, or Indira Gandhi from General Somoza, by anything they say, tell me how. This is a man's world, so it talks a man's language.
Ursula K. Le Guin, American novelist, poet, and essayist, A Left-Handed Commencement Address
Posted on August 20, 2001 at 4:20 PM
Function FormatDate(d)
If Month(d) = 1 Then s = "January"
If Month(d) = 2 Then s = "February"
If Month(d) = 3 Then s = "March"
If Month(d) = 4 Then s = "April"
If Month(d) = 5 Then s = "May"
If Month(d) = 6 Then s = "June"
If Month(d) = 7 Then s = "July"
If Month(d) = 8 Then s = "August"
If Month(d) = 9 Then s = "September"
If Month(d) = 10 Then s = "October"
If Month(d) = 11 Then s = "November"
If Month(d) = 12 Then s = "December"
s = s & " " & Day(d) & ", " & Year(d)
FormatDate = s
End Function
Function FormatTime(d)
If Hour(d) = 0 Then
s = "12"
ElseIf Hour(d) > 0 And Hour(d) <= 12 Then
s = Hour(d)
Else
s = Hour(d) - 12
End If
If Minute(d) < 10 Then
s = s & ":0" & Minute(d)
Else
s = s & ":" & Minute(d)
End If
If Hour(d) <=12 Then
s = s & " AM"
Else
s = s & " PM"
End If
FormatTime = s
End Function
Function RemoveSpaces(sOriginalWord)
sWord = sOriginalWord
If Left(sWord, 1) = "-" Then
sWord = Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - 1)
End If
Do While InStr(sWord, " ") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, " ")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(sWord, "/") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, "/")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & "-" & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(sWord, "'") <> 0
spacePos = InStr(sWord, "'")
If spacePos <> 0 Then
sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos)
End If
Loop
RemoveSpaces = sWord
End Function
Function ReplaceSingleQuotesWithHTMLCode(sOriginalText)
str = sOriginalText
Do While InStr(str, "'") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, "'")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & "'" & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
ReplaceSingleQuotesWithHTMLCode = str
End Function
Function ReplaceAllQuotesWithHTMLCode(sOriginalText)
str = sOriginalText
Do While InStr(str, "'") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, "'")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & "'" & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
Do While InStr(str, """") <> 0
quotePos = InStr(str, """")
If quotePos <> 0 Then
str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & """ & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos)
End If
Loop
ReplaceAllQuotesWithHTMLCode = str
End Function
Function ReplaceString(strField, strFind, strReplace)
findLocation = InStr(strField, strFind)
Do While findLocation <> 0
If findLocation = 1 Then
leftField = ""
Else
leftField = Left(strField, findLocation - 1)
End If
rightfield = Right(strField, Len(strField) - findLocation - (Len(strFind) - 1))
strField = leftField & strReplace & rightfield
findLocation = InStr(findLocation + Len(strFind) + 3, strField, strFind)
Loop
ReplaceString = strField
End Function