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WORDS ABOUT WORDS

But what I have most at Heart is, that some Method should be thought on for ascertaining and fixing our Language for ever, after such Alterations are made in it as shall be thought requisite. For I am of Opinion, that it is better a Language should not be wholly perfect, that it should be perpetually changing.
—Jonathan Swift, Irish satirist, poet, and clergyman, A Proposal for Correcting, Improving, and Ascertaining the English Tongue, 1712

Posted on March 25, 2004 at 12:56 PM

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Function FormatDate(d) If Month(d) = 1 Then s = "January" If Month(d) = 2 Then s = "February" If Month(d) = 3 Then s = "March" If Month(d) = 4 Then s = "April" If Month(d) = 5 Then s = "May" If Month(d) = 6 Then s = "June" If Month(d) = 7 Then s = "July" If Month(d) = 8 Then s = "August" If Month(d) = 9 Then s = "September" If Month(d) = 10 Then s = "October" If Month(d) = 11 Then s = "November" If Month(d) = 12 Then s = "December" s = s & " " & Day(d) & ", " & Year(d) FormatDate = s End Function Function FormatTime(d) If Hour(d) = 0 Then s = "12" ElseIf Hour(d) > 0 And Hour(d) <= 12 Then s = Hour(d) Else s = Hour(d) - 12 End If If Minute(d) < 10 Then s = s & ":0" & Minute(d) Else s = s & ":" & Minute(d) End If If Hour(d) <=12 Then s = s & " AM" Else s = s & " PM" End If FormatTime = s End Function Function RemoveSpaces(sOriginalWord) sWord = sOriginalWord If Left(sWord, 1) = "-" Then sWord = Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - 1) End If Do While InStr(sWord, " ") <> 0 spacePos = InStr(sWord, " ") If spacePos <> 0 Then sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos) End If Loop Do While InStr(sWord, "/") <> 0 spacePos = InStr(sWord, "/") If spacePos <> 0 Then sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & "-" & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos) End If Loop Do While InStr(sWord, "'") <> 0 spacePos = InStr(sWord, "'") If spacePos <> 0 Then sWord = Left(sWord, spacePos - 1) & Right(sWord, Len(sWord) - spacePos) End If Loop RemoveSpaces = sWord End Function Function ReplaceSingleQuotesWithHTMLCode(sOriginalText) str = sOriginalText Do While InStr(str, "'") <> 0 quotePos = InStr(str, "'") If quotePos <> 0 Then str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & "'" & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos) End If Loop ReplaceSingleQuotesWithHTMLCode = str End Function Function ReplaceAllQuotesWithHTMLCode(sOriginalText) str = sOriginalText Do While InStr(str, "'") <> 0 quotePos = InStr(str, "'") If quotePos <> 0 Then str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & "'" & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos) End If Loop Do While InStr(str, """") <> 0 quotePos = InStr(str, """") If quotePos <> 0 Then str = Left(str, quotePos - 1) & """ & Right(str, Len(str) - quotePos) End If Loop ReplaceAllQuotesWithHTMLCode = str End Function Function ReplaceString(strField, strFind, strReplace) findLocation = InStr(strField, strFind) Do While findLocation <> 0 If findLocation = 1 Then leftField = "" Else leftField = Left(strField, findLocation - 1) End If rightfield = Right(strField, Len(strField) - findLocation - (Len(strFind) - 1)) strField = leftField & strReplace & rightfield findLocation = InStr(findLocation + Len(strFind) + 3, strField, strFind) Loop ReplaceString = strField End Function

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