—Grant Guimont, Carousel of Sorts: The Cynic’s Secret Guide to Ultimate Happiness, Writers Club Press, June 1, 2001
* After taking the trip of a lifetime, a reader sent his 12 rolls of film to Kodak for developing (or 'processing,' as Kodak likes to call it) only to receive the following notice:
'We must report that during the handling of your 12 35mm Kodachrome slide orders, the films were involved in an unusual laboratory experience.'
The use of the passive is a particularly nice touch, don't you think? Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad experience. Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his pictures all over again, using the 12 replacement rolls Kodak so generously sent him.
* The description on the package of Stouffer's veal tortellini with Tomato Sauce says it contains 'exquisite egg pasta.' The list of ingredients, however, includes 'cooked noodle product.'
* An oriental rug store in St. Louis advertises 'semi-antique' rugs."
"When You Don't Want to Say What You Really Mean," Roanoke Times & World News, March 19, 1998
—Mark Alan Stamaty, “Washingtoon,” The Village Voice, August 18, 1988
Humpty Dumpty language